On this day, what would have been a day filled with love and excitement, I sit alone hearing the same sad songs over and over again.
The songs we used to sing together.
Wondering what you’re doing. What you’re thinking. And if you’re hurting as much as I am. If you’re even hurting at all.
There’s no remedy for these thoughts and feelings. Nothing I do, or take, can cure this feeling of falling backwards into this eternal abyss, which I’ve tragically created for myself.
I can’t go on.
But I have no choice. Forced to live with these memories, these thoughts of you, with no escape or relief.
Feeling cold and dead – It’s to be expected living without the heart I gave to you.
You wake up and and live your life with it. You eat, work, laugh, love, all with my heart in the palm of your hands and you don’t even know it. You do all of the things I wish I could do.
And the worst part is, I’m happy for you…
I know I could give you happiness. Perfection. But it’s been promised so many times, that I don’t blame you for not believing me. But I know I can. This day won’t ever be the same. How could it? I lost the one thing that was keeping me whole. The one person that could take me away from all of this.
So, on this day, what would have been a day filled with love and excitement, I sit alone hearing the same sad songs over and over again.
A side note: If you have anything you’d like to post on my blog, I’ve started a new section on Opinion Feed where you can submit your writings, thoughts, or general rantings – anonymously or under whatever name or pseudonym you choose. Read more about project SyncdIn, and get involved. There’s already so many who have submitted their work, and just thoughts in general, so let yours be next!