This article may seem intimidating, but I guarantee you’ll be entertained.
As Fathers Day 2015 nearly over with, I’d like to share a few thoughts on the matter…
For starters, my name is Jerry. I have the unfortunate burden of living in South Florida, a place I wouldn’t recommend moving, not even to my worst enemy. My life has been a rollercoaster of epic proportions, but I’ll save that for another time. Most recently, I became a father of the most beautiful baby boy anyone could ask for. In my seemingly endless quest to fill an unexplainable, bottomless, empty void that’s plagued my life for years, I feel that I have finally found that missing piece to my puzzle.
Listen, I know people say it all the time: “My baby changed my life”, or something along those lines — And honestly, I never thought it could happen to me. I was wild and out of control, for most of my years (I’m 26), and just the thought of being a father didn’t fit with who I was. I knew I wanted a kid at some point in the future, but I was still a kid myself. So understand that I am speaking from the same mindset that most of you probably have right now. In response to someone saying something wonderful about their kid, my normal thoughts would be: “Oh my Gad, just shut up already.” Which would be accompanied by ‘organic’ smiles and lots of heading nodding. I never truly understood the excitement and joy these people felt. In my eyes, they were sad, lonely, and just completely ruined their lives. Not to mention, obnoxiously posting pictures of their little monster on any social media site they had an account with. HELL, I’VE EVEN BLOCKED PEOPLE LIKE THIS FOR ‘SPAMMING’ MY NEWS FEED! So, for me to sit here and take the time to write about my little one, means a lot.
You need to understand something: These ‘new’ parents arent just posting pictures and videos in some kind of sad attempt to prove they havent lost their social lives — They are posting and talking about their child because they have discovered something to be passionate about. It’s like when joe Shmoe posts pics of his car, or Sara Nobody starts posting pics of her new phone; Those people have something they love, and they want to share it with their friends. The same is true for new parents; They have something they’re excited about, and they want to share it with the world. I have come to realize this — and some other truths as well.
The thing is, the feeling associated with becoming a new parent (or father in my case), isn’t something you can really explain to someone who isn’t already a parent themselves. Yeah, I know, I compared babies to cars and phones, but I was merely proving a point. See, what most people don’t understand is that their entire life is spent living selfishly. I’m not saying this to insult anyone, or start a heated debate; I’m saying this because I’ve been there and I know what it’s like to feel no necessary attachments to anyone or anything. Everything you do before parenthood, is to make yourself happy in some way. Even doing good deeds for others, whether we’d like to admit it or not, returns a feeling, based on a selfish need. Of course, one can argue that a “good deed” is a “selfLESS” act, but if you really think about it, that is completely false. Just think: How far would you really take your ‘good deed’? Once someone starts asking for more than you can, or are willing, to give, a line gets drawn.
Okay, lets say you give a homeless many (or woman), a few bucks. Would you sign over your house, your car, and all of your savings to this person, upon request? I’m pretty positive that your answer would be “no”. It doesnt mean your selfish, or you’re not a “good person”. It’s basic human instinct to preserve ones self, and that means preserving your stability as well. Once again, don’t misinterpret this! Doing things for others is great and I think everyone should do more to help eachother out, especially, those in need, but, at what cost? This is where parenthood comes in. I am almost 100% certain, that all of you have felt every emotion in the humans emotions spectrum (not sure if that’s a thing or not. If it is I’m copyrighting), at some point in your life. This includes (and every variation of): Happiness, sadness, excitement, depression, loneliness, hate, love, and well, you get the picture. We have all experienced these emotions and are familiar with what they feel like, and can recognize them in the moment, or when they are coming on. All of these emotions are familiar and we know how to handle them in our own way. But, there is one emotion/feeling that you can never be prepared for, because it doesnt present itself like the others. The moment that you watch your baby arrive in to this world, a feeling that you have never felt, and emotion that you have never experienced, will hit you like a sledgehammer. It’s difficult to explain it, because you will never really know it until you experience it yourself. It’s like describing a color to a man who has been blind since birth. Or a smell to someone who has never smelled anything in his life. It’s simply unexplainable.
What I can tell you is this: I spent 9 months falling in love with the little person growing inside my wife’s belly. So, naturally, I thought I was readally prepared for his birth — I couldn’t have been more wrong. I thought I knew what I was feeling because, like i said before, I was familiar with that feeling. I knew how to respond to it. I knew that I would love my baby boy and be there for him no matter what. But, the second he was born and the doctor laid him on my wifes chest, and he opened his eyes and stared into ours for the first time, I felt a wave of something I had neevr felt before in my life. From that moment on, I knew. I knew what all the hype was about. I knew why parents bombarded their social news feeds with pictures of their babies. I knew, then and there, that I would willingly give anything for him, including my life, without a second thought.
So, my conclusion (I know, finally right?) : The feeling of having a child, is something that’s difficult to explain to a “non parent”. It’s extremely scary counting down to B DAY (birth day), and coming from someone who never thought he could be a parent anytime soon, I have to say this: Parenthood isn’t as scary as everyone (movies, books, your friends) makes it seem. Your fears fly out the window once your newborn baby opens his eyes and sees yours for the first time.
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Today was my first Fathers Day. Meet my 3 month old baby boy: Luca